Tired of dating the wrong people? What does it take to manifest your soulmate or a specific person into your life, instead of another loser who breaks your heart? I’m going to walk you through the steps you need to take to attract that person.
Whatever you want to manifest, it’s all about getting on the energetic level of what you want which sounds vague or woo, if you want to manifest your crush how in the world do you get on an energetic level with them? But, it actually makes sense when you learn how the human brain works.
You can learn the basic steps of manifestation in more detail, but I’ll give a brief rundown here.
All the actions we take in life are influenced by our belief systems, and our beliefs are formed by our thoughts and feelings which are created by electric impulses in the brain (thoughts are energy!). When we witness or experience something that evokes emotion in us we create a belief around that.
Maybe you witness your parents fight a lot as a kid and decided love makes you unsafe so you hold people at a distance. Perhaps you were neglected and believe you aren’t worthy of love so you reject great people who would be a good fit, or you become desperate for love and go looking for it in all the wrong places.
The Law of Attraction states like attracts like, so what you believe about love is what you will attract. You’ve already been manifesting everything in your life, you just didn’t realize it. So now that you do know that you can manifest, you have to learn how to change your results by changing from the inside out.
Feelings of lack or unworthiness lower your vibration, and the Law of Attraction works hand in hand with the Law of Vibration. When you know your worth and demand nothing less you’re operating from a higher frequency and that’s what you attract in your soulmate.
Ok lets get into how to manifest your soulmate into your life.
1. The First Step in Manifesting a Soulmate, Do Some Inner Work
Learn From Your Patterns
Have your past relationships crashed and burned or just left you disappointed, knowing that something better is out there?
Do you keep dating the same people, just with different faces?
Do you have a lot of fear around love because you saw your parents have a toxic relationship and you’re afraid that will happen to you?
Take an honest look at your history and look for patterns. What keeps showing up that you don’t want?
Maybe you keep dating guys who kind of just want someone to clean up after them like you’re their mom. Do you keep attracting jerks who don’t treat you right? Or guys who are too clingy when you like your space, or they ghost you when you’re ready to commit.
Look for any themes in your past relationships and ask what attracted you to that person, what belief do you have about love that they are fulfilling?
When you believe that your relationships have to look a certain way you will find a partner that will meet that belief and prove you right, so you have to uncover any beliefs that say love is supposed to be all about drama and hurt.
Want a Soulmate for the Right Reasons
Are you looking for someone to “complete” you or are you looking for a companion with the same values that will enhance your life?
There’s a huge difference between wanting someone to fix your life and wanting someone to complement it. You have to be secure and confident in yourself in order to attract someone who is also at that level.
Expecting someone to save you will always end in disaster. You’re going to have unhealthy expectations and then be upset when that person can’t give you what you want.
And maybe that person has the same expectation and you end up trauma bonding and get stuck in a toxic cycle where you keep on hurting each other but you don’t know how to cut ties. That is not the kind of relationship you should want to manifest.
Instead of wanting someone to make you happy because you aren’t happy right now, look for someone to be happy with. You should both be happy and complete alone and then even more happy together.
Like chocolate and strawberries are both great on their own, but if you put them together it’s like a new level of greatness.
Work on Self-Love and Self-Worth
The key to manifesting your soulmate might just be unconditional self-love, because when you love yourself completely so will your soulmate.
There’s a saying that goes something like, “we accept the love we think we deserve,” and it’s true.
If you don’t completely love and respect yourself first you won’t manifest a partner who does those things, and who wants to be in a relationship without them?
Not loving yourself fully is a recipe for disaster. Have you ever seen a woman who was clearly with a man who didn’t respect her (maybe a serial cheater) or she had to basically be his mother instead of his partner? Why do women stay with lousy men like that?
They don’t have self-love.
When you know your worth you won’t put up with crappy behavior. You won’t ignore the red flags in a relationship because you are not about to waste your time going down a road that will end in disaster.
So while you’re waiting for your soulmate to manifest, start working on your relationship with yourself. Start telling yourself that you are worthy of love and deserve the best partner who is loving and supportive no matter what.
Fall in love with yourself first, it will make all the difference in the quality of people you attract into your life.
Join the FREE Self-Love Challenge
Know What You DON’T Want
Being really clear on what you don’t want and absolutely will not accept in a partner (or yourself) is really helpful.
Here are some relationship warning signs that will give you ideas of what you don’t want in a relationship.
Sometimes we learn to normalize toxic behavior from others. We put up with treatment that we shouldn’t because we think its normal to be treated like that. Start to break that pattern now.
Know what you aren’t going to allow into your life so you can set boundaries.
This will be helpful when we talk about values in the next section.
2. Define Exactly Who Your Soulmate Is
Now for the fun part! You get to decide who exactly you want to manifest into your life.
Get out your journal and answer the following questions as best you can. You can always change your mind later as you do inner work and your priorities change.
Use these questions to create your to-manifest list, you aren’t wishing for it you are calling it in.
What does your soulmate look like?
What are the physical characteristics you would like your soulmate to have? Ask yourself why they are important to you.
For example, maybe being physically active is important to you so a partner who prioritizes their health and fitness is essential so that you can do activities together.
Wanting your partner to be attractive is totally fine, we all have certain things that turn us on and that’s great. Just don’t set impossible expectations that would make you unconsciously reject the right person for you.
And if you don’t care how they look, that’s fine too.
Also if you want to manifest someone who cares about their appearance and pays attention to personal grooming then you have to do those things too (I’m talking to the men here who want their girlfriends to look like supermodels but put no effort into their own looks).
What values does your soulmate have?
I think a really important part of any relationship is having similar values and morals.
What causes do you care about? What societal issues are important to you? What are your morals? How do you want to contribute to the world?
Knowing these things about yourself will help you attract a person who is aligned with your values.
How do you want your soulmate to make you feel?
What feelings are important to you in a relationship?
Do you want to feel safe, taken care of, excited, peaceful, like you always know what to expect, frequently surprised, like you can fully trust them, respected, appreciated, etc.
Get crystal clear on how you want to feel everyday around them. What’s really important to you?
Maybe you want to be with someone who is adventurous and surprises you often, or you want someone who is steady and you can rely on things always being a certain way.
Know what you want life to look like with your partner.
Who do you need to be to attract your soulmate?
Whatever you give out you will get back, so if you’ve recognized that sometimes you bring baggage or a toxic pattern into your relationships that is what you will manifest more of, even with the perfect person.
Relationships take work from both sides, you can’t expect your partner to be perfect and give you everything you need but not be willing to give them what they need.
So what do you need to bring to a relationship? Think about how you’re going to show up everyday.
3. Let Go of the How and When
Something that really trips people up when it comes to manifestation is needing to know how and when what you want will appear. It’s human nature to want to know what to expect, but when did repeatedly asking, “are we there yet” ever get you to your destination faster? In fact it just makes the journey longer.
The universe has it’s own timeline, you have to trust that things will unfold as they are meant to.
If you are so stuck on manifesting the love of your life a certain way you may unknowingly reject them when they appear in a way that isn’t in your plans.
Desperation will only manifest more reasons to stay desperate. You have to let go of control and trust 100% that your soulmate is on their way, which is HARD!
Something I’ve learned about manifestation is that in order to get what you want you have to know that it’s already yours on an energetic level and it’s just a matter of the physical world arranging things in your favor.
So when doubts appear affirm to yourself that your soulmate is on their way, that it’s already a done deal and it doesn’t matter how or when they appear, it will happen as it’s meant to.
Tap into the feeling of how good it will feel when they show up (which raises your vibration), and then let go. Thank the universe for delivering them into your life as if they are already here, it will clear so much resistance.
4. Follow Your Intuition
Maybe you get a nudge to go to an event you would normally say no to. Maybe your intuition tells you that you need to move to a new city. Maybe it tells you to sit tight and wait.
It could tell you that the person you’re with now isn’t the one, or that they are and you need to be willing to work on the relationship.
Sometimes you just know something without it making any sense. Listen for that calm voice or feeling inside you.
Intuition never communicates with fear, so you have to work on releasing any negative emotions that come up before you can hear it.
Signs Someone is Your Soulmate
How will you recognize your soulmate when they appear? Your intuition will know, but here are some signs:
- They match your checklist
- You like them as they are and don’t need them to change
- You are 100% certain of their commitment to you
- You both have the same long term goals
- You are both willing to grow together
They should also meet 16 qualities of a healthy relationship.
Want personal 1:1 coaching? I can help you Accelerate Your Manifestation.
Frequently Asked Questions About Manifesting a Soulmate:
How long does it take to manifest your soulmate?
It really depends on how long it takes both of you to be ready.
Do you still have some self-love work to do? Are you ready to be vulnerable?
Are you 100% certain on who your soulmate will be in terms of shared values and life goals?
Is there space in your life for someone, or are you waiting to end your current relationship until a new person comes along? Because that’s going to sabotage you.
How do you manifest a specific person?
Be really clear about why you want to manifest that person. What qualities do they have that are attractive to you? How would they enhance your life? How would you enhance their life?
When you want to use the law of attraction to manifest a specific person you have to be careful that you are right for each other, because you can subconsciously attract the wrong person because you aren’t clear on the qualities you do and don’t want and your motive isn’t necessarily a healthy one (like wanting someone because of their looks or status instead of their values and how they would treat you).
How do you know your soulmate is close?
The first way is when you starting finding people who are really close to being what you want, you know you’re starting to attract the right qualities. This is a sign that your energy is right and the perfect person is close. Remember if someone only checks 75% of your boxes you don’t have to settle, you can find someone who checks all of them if you’re patient.
The second way is that you’re happy being alone. Desperation will always push what you want away, so when you learn to be totally content on your own it just opens you up to the right person. Complete self-love will attract more love!
Can you make someone love you with manifestation?
The short answer is no, we can’t force anyone to fall in love with us.
We all have free will and are manifesting our own lives, you can’t ever change someone’s feelings or force them to act a certain way.
If someone you like isn’t interested you have to let them go. If they are right for you they will find you later when they’re ready to be the person you need.
Why do I keep manifesting the wrong person?
If you keep manifesting the wrong people into your life over and over again, whether they are romantic of platonic relationships, there are some things within you that need to be healed so you can change that pattern.
In my post about why we manifest the wrong people, I talk about 3 reasons the wrong people show up and there are more tips there on how to fix them.
Those are the fundamental steps to manifest your soulmate. The most important points are to clear away any limiting beliefs about love that are creating patterns you don’t want anymore, and be patient and trust the universe to deliver the right person in the right time.
If you need some help, I offer 1:1 manifestation coaching.
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