Are you frustrated because you manifested the wrong person? The power of human thought is strong and has the potential to manifest anything, including the wrong kind of people into our lives. That includes lovers, friends, mentors, employers, etc.
The law of attraction suggests that if someone holds a positive belief about something, it will come into their life. The same can go for negative beliefs, even if we aren’t consciously aware of them. More often than not, we’re acting on beliefs that we don’t even know we have and therefor attracting things and people that we don’t actually want.
So even when we’re attempting to manifest a positive relationship we can unintentionally manifest the wrong person because our belief systems say that’s what we’re supposed to have, and it can leave us feeling let down and wondering what went wrong.
But if we heal those old beliefs and start focusing on what we want instead of what we don’t want, we can manifest the right person into our lives.
Learn the 3 key steps of manifestation if you need to understand the basics.
Lets talk about the reasons you’re manifesting the wrong person and how to fix them.
First, Forgive Yourself
It can be hard to accept when you’ve made mistakes in the past. You question whether or not you’ll ever find happiness in your life, or if you will always be tainted with regret and keep attracting people who hurt and disappoint you.
For some, this means they never let themselves go out on another date again, because of the fear that they will just end up with another jerk. They’re stuck focusing on what was wrong with their previous relationships instead of healing the beliefs that attracted the wrong person and looking for someone new.
First, I want you to have compassion for yourself, but don’t make excuses or shift the blame onto someone else. So much of what we do and attract is done unconsciously because people don’t really know how to look inward at what’s hurting us and then heal it.
In large part the law of attraction is working with the beliefs we formed in childhood, which we’ll discuss more later. So it’s not always our “fault” that we started off attracting the wrong people, but we do have to take responsibility for those beliefs and work to change them when it turns into a pattern.
When you blame instead of take responsibility you give away your power because you can’t change other people. You can’t hate or love them into being better versions of themselves, all you can do is heal the part of you that was available for that and then avoid manifesting more of the same in the future.
“Did I manifest being abused?”
Before we get into why we sometimes manifest the wrong kind of people into our lives, I do want to make one thing clear.
I do not believe that we can manifest being physically harmed by people.
If you’re walking down the sidewalk and are hit by a reckless driver, or you’ve been abused as a child or as an adult you did not manifest that.
When people are abused they wonder what they did to deserve that, and the answer is absolutely nothing. On a planet with over 7 billion people our choices do effect each other, and sometimes we just encounter bad people by chance.
Some in the manifestation community believe that we manifest absolutely everything that happens to us, but I do not believe women can manifest being assaulted, raped, or killed. I don’t believe average citizens manifest other countries dropping bombs on them.
Sometimes we can normalize toxic behavior because that’s what we grew up with or we believe that’s all we’re worthy of, and so some people unconsciously seek out others that will fulfill the belief that “this is how it’s supposed to be.”
But being abusive is a choice someone makes and we are not responsible for their choice.
That said, lets talk about the reasons we do manifest the wrong people.
Why You Manifested the Wrong Person
You’re Repeating Generational Cycles
We can, and often do, inherit disempowering beliefs and patterns from our childhoods. You see dysfunctional behavior at home but because you’re a child and you don’t know any better, you normalize what you see and unconsciously recreate it in your adult relationships.
Because you’ve formed the belief that a particular toxic behavior is “normal” your subconscious mind works in the background to prove your belief is true by seeking out people who will act out those patterns with you.
Whether that pattern is ending up with abusive or unfaithful partners, or repeatedly investing money into shady businesses and losing it all, we’ll recreate what we saw our parents or other authority figures do.
This is done automatically and unconsciously, until you gain awareness and interrupt the behavior.
All we can do once we have awareness is either make the decision to change our belief system, or keep blaming others and stay in the crappy cycle that’s only giving you more of what you don’t want.
Because you’re here seeking solutions, you’ve gained awareness that something is not right, which is a huge step in the right direction.
You Were Focused On What You Didn’t Want
Many people are in pursuit of what they want in their life, yet when it comes to manifesting the things they want, they are actually focusing more on what they don’t want and therefor the law of attraction delivers it to them.
This is because we’re so afraid of what could go wrong that our brain tries to protect us by predicting what danger, real or imagined, that could come our way and how we can avoid it. Often times the mind takes us down a path that would lead us away from what we really need or want because it’s so focused on the bad stuff.
It’s important to stop this pattern and focus on the positive manifestations you want instead.
So instead of saying, “I don’t want another crappy boss who will overwork and disrespect me,” you should focus on “I want a boss that creates a supportive work environment and is always looking out for their employees.” Then you focus on the positive emotions you want to feel when you’re around your new boss, rather than the frustration and fear.
If you’re not totally sure what you want, it’s ok to list out all the things you don’t want and then flip them around to find out what the opposite and positive behavior or feeling is. Then keep your focus on the positive qualities you want to manifest in your relationship.
You Don’t Practice the Values You Want Them to Have
Generally, you attract the energy you put out.
So if you want a person who will always be faithful to you, but you cheat or knowingly get with someone who is cheating on their relationship, what will you get back? Being cheated on. You will lose them how you got them.
If you want a friend group that is free of drama and backstabbing, but you gossip about and criticize your friends, what will you get back? Friends who do the same to you.
You have to embody the qualities you want to find in the people you manifest.
That doesn’t mean you can’t randomly encounter jerks or that it’s your fault if you have a few obnoxious coworkers, but if you are being the kind of person you want to attract then they won’t stick around.
If integrity, loyalty, honestly, respect, and hard work are important qualities you want to manifest in someone, then you have to be those things too.
How to Manifest the Right Person
Now that we’ve explored how it’s possible to manifest the wrong person, there are some things you can do to make sure the person you manifest in the future is in line with what you really want.
If you’re looking for love, here is an article about how to manifest your soulmate that will go more in depth.
But in general, here is what you need to do.
Focus On the Qualities You Want
Manifestation starts with setting an intention for what you want. So when you want to manifest the right person you need to know what you want.
Decide what you want from the relationship and list out all their qualities. What are their values, what do you give each other (because relationships are two way streets), what purpose do they serve in your life, etc.
There are multiple ways to set your intention for manifesting what you want, try what works best for you.
Remember to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.
Know Your Value
When you want something or someone amazing to manifest into your life, you have to know and believe that you deserve the best. When you know your value and that you are worthy of love and respect you won’t accept anyone treating you in a way that is not in alignment with your value.
You’re always going to encounter people who don’t respect you, but whether or not you let them stay in your life depends on if you believe that you’re worthy of better.
The number one reason people stay in crappy relationships is that deep down they don’t believe they deserve better. They don’t believe that they deserve unconditional respect, kindness, loyalty, and love.
So if you know that you’ve tolerated crappy behavior from people in the past, then you need to work on your self-worth and self-love. I have a really great post about how to cultivate a self-love mindset that can help if that’s what you need.
Set Firm Boundaries
Setting firm boundaries is key to manifesting healthy relationships with others. You should think about what you want from the relationship from the start and from there establish your boundaries.
One way to do this is by being clear about what you will and won’t allow. When you’re not energetically available for certain types of behavior then you don’t manifest people who do those behaviors.
Setting firm boundaries is only effective if there are clear consequences that follow when the boundary is crossed. If you let someone cross that boundary once and there are no repercussions, then they will take that as a sign to do it over and over again.
Then you are sending a signal to the universe that you are ok with that behavior and will manifest more of it.
If you tell yourself you won’t tolerate your partner cheating on you, but when they do cheat you keep giving them another chance, then you actually are ok with being cheated on because you aren’t sticking to your boundary.
I have a post about how to set boundaries with toxic people to learn more strategies.
Trust and Let Go
No one likes it when someone is clingy in a relationship, right? It ends up creating resistance and pushing away what you want because if shows you don’t actually trust the person you’re with. The same applies in manifestation. The more you cling, the more you are actually resisting your desire.
You have to let go of the outcome and keep living your life with the certainty that the right person is on their way.
It’s not that the universe cares whether or not you trust them, it’s that when you’re not certain something will happen for you, then you’re just attracting more reasons to be uncertain because the law of attraction is reflecting your inner state back at you.
When you KNOW that something is possible and meant for you, then you will go after it and attract it to you. Trust helps you shift you into energetic alignment with what you want to manifest.
And it’s important to remember that there is usually a delay between setting an intention or having a desire and receiving that thing. It would be nice if the things we wanted popped up instantly, but if good thoughts did that then so would negative thoughts, and that would be incredibly chaotic.
So you’ve got to trust that what you want will come and release the desire. Focus on you being the best version of you. The better you become the better quality of people will show up in your life.
We’ve reached the end my friend. I hope you have a greater understanding of why you might be manifesting the wrong people and how to fix it. Apply these steps and you’ll see a change in the quality of people you attract.
Read more about how to have healthy relationships and subscribe for more manifestation tips.