Shift Your Identity and Everything Will Change
Identity is the cornerstone of who we are as individuals, shaping our perceptions, attitudes, and behaviors. It serves as a compass guiding our choices and influencing the paths we take in life.
Our identity, or how we see ourselves, can either work for or against us. If your self-concept says you’re not good enough to have something, at a subconscious level you will resist it because it goes against what you’re “allowed” to have. We create unconscious rules that often tell us we can’t have the life we really want, and until we change our identity around those things, they’ll stay off-limits.
Any part of our self-concept can be changed. In this article, we will explore what makes up our identity, its role in decision-making, and the transformative power that comes from knowing you can shift your identity when it’s not serving you and achieve anything you want.
What is Your Identity?
At its core, identity is a multifaceted construct shaped by a combination of factors including beliefs, values, experiences, culture, and social roles. It is formed through a complex interplay of nature and nurture, with genetics laying the foundation and environmental influences sculpting its contours.
Take a moment to think about facets of your own identity. What are you good and bad at? Where do you feel confident or insecure in relation to your interactions to other people and the things you want in life?
Here are some examples of ways we can identify ourselves:
- I’m lazy
- I’m a go-getter
- I’m not good at talking to people
- I’m good at overcoming challenges
- I’m a great cook
- I don’t have good ideas
- I’m not smart enough to figure this out
Our upbringing plays a big part in shaping our identity. Think of how your family and peers talked about you and your capabilities. What did they tell you about yourself? Did they say things like “you can do anything you set your mind to,” or did they tell you that you weren’t smart enough or that life is hard?
How did your family talk about things like relationships, money, success, and health when you were a child? Do those messages influence how you interact with the world today?
These factors all mix together to create your sense of self, and not only informs how we see ourselves but also how we relate to the world around us.
How Your Identity Determines Your Choices in Life
Our identity serves as a blueprint for decision-making, influencing the options we perceive as available to us. Beliefs about ourselves can act as self-imposed limitations, constraining our pursuit of goals deemed “off limits.”
Whether in career choices, relationships, or lifestyle preferences, our self-concept exerts a profound influence, steering us towards certain paths while closing off others.
Consider, for example, someone who identifies strongly with a particular profession may find it challenging to explore alternative career paths, even if they harbor latent interests or talents in other fields.
Similarly, individuals with deeply ingrained cultural or religious identities may face internal conflict when confronted with choices that challenge these foundational beliefs.
If you identify yourself as someone who is capable of achieving a goal, you will pursue it and very likely succeed. Likewise, if you identify as someone who cannot reach a goal because of perceived flaws in your capabilities, you either will not pursue the goal or you will quit at the first sign of resistance.
The Trap of a Fixed Identity
While identity provides a sense of stability and belonging, a fixed identity can also become a prison, trapping us in roles and expectations that no longer serve our growth and fulfillment.
The rigidity of a fixed identity can stifle personal evolution, hindering adaptability and resilience in the face of change. Moreover, it can lead to feelings of discontent and disconnection as we struggle to reconcile our authentic selves with societal expectations.
If your identity says you are not good at something or that certain things are off limits to you—such as money, love, or success—then you will not pursue those things no matter how much you want it because it goes against your identity to have them.
Most of us believe that we can’t change things about ourselves that we don’t like because “that’s just the way it is,” but really anything can be changed if we’re willing to shift our perspective.
The Trap of an Undefined Identity
Conversely, an undefined identity can leave us adrift, susceptible to external influences and lacking a sense of direction or purpose.
Without a solid foundation of values and beliefs, we may find ourselves swayed by the opinions and expectations of others, unable to discern what truly matters to us.
This lack of clarity can impede decision-making and hinder our ability to pursue goals aligned with our authentic selves. You will only be and do what others expect you to, and never be satisfied.
The Benefits of Creating an Identity that Supports Your Goals
Embracing identity fluidity and flexibility offers a path to personal growth and fulfillment. Recognizing that identity is not static but rather malleable allows us to cultivate traits and beliefs that align with our aspirations.
When you recognize that a facet of your identity is resistant to something you truly want, you can change the way you see yourself in relation to that thing and then go after it.
By embracing change and actively shaping our identity, we open ourselves to new possibilities and experiences. We are able to cultivate resilience and adaptability in the face of life’s challenges.
We gain the power to overcome any obstacle and achieve any goal simply by adopting the identity of someone who can do those things.
How to Shift Your Identity
Shifting one’s identity requires introspection, courage, and a willingness to step outside of comfort zones.
- Reflect and question your old identity: Start by engaging in self-reflection and exploring your values, interests, and aspirations. Look at your attitude around things that feel off-limits to you. Ask yourself if your limitations around them are real, or just your perception. You’ll find that usually it’s just your perception.
- Create a new story about yourself: When you realize your identity needs to change, begin to cultivate a supportive inner dialogue that encourages growth and self-compassion, rather than self-limiting beliefs. Tell yourself that you are the kind of person who can do/be/have anything. When you notice doubt, choose thoughts that are more supportive. It may help to spend some time writing down a new story about who you are in relation to what you want and why you can absolutely have it. I also recommend listening to affirmations videos, which I have tons of on my Youtube channel for free!
- Persist until your identity shifts: Your old identity will try to tell you that what you want is impossible, but persist in thinking in a new way until it sticks. It takes time and practice, but eventually your identity will shift and you’ll be able to get what you want.
Challenge yourself to embrace new experiences and perspectives, pushing past existing identity boundaries to discover untapped potential.
Be prepared to confront societal norms, peer pressure, and internalized beliefs that may hinder your journey towards self-realization. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who encourage authenticity and celebrate your growth.
If you want more help shifting your identity, I have a 21 day program called Transcendence that will guide you through the process of transforming your identity. You’ll get daily practices that will train your subconscious to think in a new way so that you feel empowered to create the life that you really want.
In conclusion, identity serves as a guiding force in our lives, shaping our choices and influencing our paths. While a fixed or undefined identity can pose challenges, embracing identity fluidity offers the opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment.
By actively shaping and redefining our identities, we unlock the potential for self-discovery, and incredible growth. Embrace the journey of self-exploration, and dare to re-imagine yourself in pursuit of a life aligned with your biggest aspirations.