Shyness and social anxiety is a common personality trait that can make people feel uncomfortable in social settings. In a world that values being outgoing and socializing, it can be hard for people who are shy or have social anxiety to feel like they fit in.
As someone who has lived with both of these issues, I have found that affirmations for social anxiety and shyness help me to feel more comfortable in social settings, so I want to share them with you. These affirmations can be spoken out loud, read, or written down and kept on hand to help remind you that you can get through social interactions with grace if not confidence.
For social anxiety sufferers and shy people, sometimes it can be hard to muster up the courage to leave the house. They often feel like they don’t belong, they’re self-conscious and feel like they’re not good at talking to people. But with a few positive affirmations, they can start to change their mindset and feel more confident interacting with people.
It’s Ok to be Shy and Socially Anxious
I’ve talked about my personal experiences with people being rude to me for my shyness in How to Care for Introverts. Some people don’t know how to behave around others who aren’t just like them and say things that make shy and anxious people even more uncomfortable.
What this does is reinforce the message that something is inherently wrong with us, and it makes us retreat further into our shells. When people make mean comments about how quiet someone is, it only becomes harder to be in social groups.
If you have social anxiety or shyness, there could have been something in your childhood that made you afraid of certain situations, so part of your brain is literally telling you that you’re in danger and it’s very hard not to listen to that voice. These affirmations will help you start to feel more safe.
Whatever the reason for your anxiety or quietness, it’s not your fault and you aren’t alone. Up to 12% of adults in the US have experienced social anxiety disorder. These affirmations will help you feel more at ease in yourself.
How to Use Affirmations for Social Anxiety
First, it can be helpful to identify what your social anxiety fear comes from, this way you can direct your affirmations to your specific problem.
Do you just not know what to say? Do you feel unsafe around certain people or situations? Are you afraid of saying the wrong thing?
Then ask where the fear comes from. You might find that once you think about it and figure out what your trigger is, it’s so irrational and silly that it’s easy to overcome.
But, it may just be so deeply ingrained in you that it takes some work. You might remember what started it because you were too young. This is ok! Everyone has things they need to work through, there is nothing wrong with you and these affirmations will help even if you don’t know why you’re anxious or shy!
The importance of consistency with affirmations
Write down a list of the social anxiety affirmations that resonate with you the most, and then say them out loud to yourself at least twice a day to start. Say them into the mirror each morning and before any social events.
Be patient and understand that shyness and anxiety takes time to overcome. It won’t work in one day or one week. If you really want to work through your anxiety or shyness you have to show up for yourself day after day and do the work. Repetition is key. After 30 days you’ll start to feel a difference in yourself.
The power of visualization with affirmations
While using these affirmations it can be helpful to visualize yourself confidently socializing with people. When we develop a new behavior or skill, as we do those actions over and over again, our brains build neural pathways that make the behavior easy and automatic.
Studies have shown that athletes who visualize winning at their sport perform better and can build muscle strength without actually moving that muscle. You can use the same strategy, paired with these affirmations, for becoming better at talking to people.
While the purpose of these affirmations is to make you more comfortable in social situations, it’s also important to give yourself compassion and acceptance.
There is no reason to berate yourself for feeling shy or anxious around people, and you can accept yourself just the way you are while working to feel more comfortable socializing.
Adjust them as needed
Sometimes it’s hard to use affirmations because they feel like a lie, especially when you’re saying the exact opposite of how you feel.
A trick to make these affirmations more effective is to change the beginning of the affirmation to something like this:
- I am beginning to feel…
- I am becoming…
- I am getting better at…
- I am learning to…
This allows you to start believing in the affirmation even though it doesn’t feel totally true yet. After a week or two you might be able to go from “I am beginning to feel confident speaking” to “I am confident speaking.” It’s a process!
Affirmations for Social Anxiety
- Even when I feel anxious around people, I love and accept myself.
- I’m getting better at socializing everyday.
- I am becoming confident meeting new people and engaging in new activities.
- I feel safe in social settings.
- I am comfortable in groups of people.
- I meet nice people everywhere I go.
- I am a good person and I deserve to be treated well by people around me.
- I enjoy getting to know people.
- I am good at being around people.
- I am confident and at ease in social situations.
- I am surrounded by kind, supportive people.
- I have so much to offer the world.
- I am comfortable expressing myself.
- I feel at ease when talking to strangers.
- I am making progress on my social skills.
Affirmations to Overcome Shyness
- I love and accept myself even when I don’t know what to say.
- I am learning to feel confident using my voice.
- I am becoming more comfortable around people everyday.
- Talking to people is becoming easier everyday.
- What I have to say is valuable.
- I clearly express my good intentions.
- My voice is clear and strong.
- It is ok for me to ask people for help.
- I am getting better with practice.
- I feel confident sharing my opinion.
- It’s easy for me to communicate my thoughts.
- It is safe for me to use my voice.
- I am comfortable being myself.
- People appreciate that I’m a good listener.
- I feel good at social gatherings.
Affirmations to Become a Social Butterfly
Want to become more social? These affirmations can help you improve your social life and skills.
- I am a friendly person and people like being around me.
- It is safe for me to be my authentic self.
- I come across as knowledgeable and confident.
- I am developing deep friendships with good people.
- The right words and thoughts come easily to me.
- I look forward to meeting new people.
- I love connecting with people.
- Spending time with people is fun for me.
- I am totally relaxed and confident when speaking to a group.
- I bring light to those around me.
- People are attracted to my personality and energy.
- I meet interesting people all the time.
- It’s easy for me to start conversations.
- I am a charismatic person.
- Meeting strangers is something I look forward to.
Affirmations for Not Caring What Others Think
- The only person I need to make happy is myself.
- I own my power and recognize the strength inside me.
- I don’t feel the need to be like anyone else.
- It is okay that I enjoy my own company over the company of others.
- I can be polite but still maintain my boundaries.
- I am proud of myself for just showing up.
- I seek connection with people, not validation.
- I don’t care what people say or think about me.
- The people who really matter accept me for who I am, I don’t worry about anyone else.
- I’m comfortable saying ‘no’ to people when I don’t want to socialize.
I truly hope these affirmations help to reduce your social anxiety and/or shyness. I know how uncomfortable it can be to go out into the world when it feels like you can’t be yourself and you don’t know what to say to people. Changing that is a process that takes time, so be patient with yourself!
If you want some more helpful resources, these posts may help: